Last Night I Contemplated Masturbation

Last night, I contemplated masturbation.

It did me good.

I knew it would.

Tonight, I will repeat the operation.

It’s my desire

To twank my wire.

First you do the long strokes:

Up and down, up and down.

Then you do the short strokes:

Round and round, round and round.

Tease it, please it,

Slap it on the floor.

Wank it, crank it,

Slam it in the door.

Some people say,

Some people say that sexual intercourse is grand.

But for personal satisfaction I would rather use my hand.